# 1 to Stay Connected to your Spouse (Date Night)

Oftentimes, Coach and I need to pause and hit the reset button.  Like all families, it can get chaotic at times.  I mean crazy!  Just when you think you have a free night, there is a practice or event.  It can get very frustrating.  And, you know when you get frustrated, you take it out on your spouse.  I’m guilty of snapping at Coach sometimes and I don’t even know why.

Scheduling Time

That’s why we try to schedule a time to be together.

Look, we’ve both been through a divorce, so we know how important it is to have downtime.  Also, because of our divorces, we realize the importance of quality time with each other.

Pause, Relax and Reset

Coach and I have created a variety of ways to reset.  As I’ve mentioned before, cooking is a big part of our lives, so we usually incorporate that with our downtime.  We also love to watch movies and rate them. Of course, we grade them A – F.

We try to spend one-on-one time together every day. Yes. I said EVERY DAY.  Even if it’s only for thirty minutes.  We take that time to pause, relax, and reset.

Some of you may say that you don’t have the time to reset.  My answer to that is, “make the time.” Even if it is only thirty minutes with the man or woman you love.

Don’t Resist

Okay, so some of you are still resisting.  Maybe you don’t think you have the money.  My answer to that is, “do you need money?”  I don’t mean to lecture, but try to think of things you enjoy without going out.

Let me tell you about last Friday night.  We don’t have a lot of extra cash right now (high school fees for Kora and Joe and college tuition for Elli).  Need I say more as to why we stayed in? LOL

As I was saying, not a lot of cash, so we made burgers on the grill and watched a Redbox Movie.  The kids were gone, so we enjoyed hanging on the deck grilling.  We watched the sunset.  Corny, I know, but it was so great just to be with him in the peace of the night.


We then ate in the living room while watching Rampage.  And, you know what?  It was one of the best nights we’ve had in a long time.  No other people around. Just us. So much fun!

Can’t Afford It

Some of you with young kids can’t afford a babysitter.  I get that. Maybe, you can watch the movie when the kiddos are asleep.  I’ll admit.  Sometimes you want to go to sleep too, but try to stay awake.  Maybe drink some tea?

Budgeting to Save for Date night

Still want to go out?  And you still don’t have the extra cash? I get that too.  How about looking at your budget and see about cutting a few dollars here and there?

There’s a lot of talk about a “weekly” date night out of the house, but as I said, it may not be financially feasible to do.

A way to get around the “weekly” thing is to save for a bi-monthly or monthly date night. Not only is it something for you to look forward to, but it shows your spouse that you are thinking of them.

Don’t Forget

Another way you can save is through sites like Groupon.  I love it.  It knows the area you’re in and looks for deals.

Living Social is another way to find deals.  It has a ton of different options for you and your spouse.

You Need to Work on Beautifully Blending

Remember, you need to work on being blended.  Blended isn’t only about the kids, but also the strength of your relationship with your spouse.

Together you have this beautifully blended family that takes up a lot of time.  It’s great to have time with your kiddos, but sometimes you need to pause and hang with your significant other.

So Try It!

Date night is certainly a way to strengthen your marriage, so try it!  No excuses.  Do it and enjoy!